This is Our Battle Warble

When news of America’s freshest talent show “The Voice US” leapt across the Pond last year it seemed an unmissable potential signing for the Cowell-battered Beeb. Setting itself apart from the theatrics of more recognizable Idol and X-Factor formats, the show’s initial premise is simple: to judge on vocal ability in isolation (just in case you’ve been living under an immovably heavy and thoroughly media-proofed rock, the show’s judges coaches have their backs turned to the stage during auditions and thus ensure sure sob-stories and outlandish performances remain in the background). Since “The Voice UK” hit our screens last month it has commanded monumental viewing figures and reel upon reel of media coverage. However, the content given to the blind audition stages was, overall, disappointing. It seemed that every article eventually devolved into a blow-by-blow, figure-by-figure account of how “The Voice” was faring against ITV’s “Britain’s Got Talent” and what Simon Cowell’s reaction to such competition might have been. This Saturday, then, I was relieved to switch on the box and find that the overshadowed audition round was over and that the way was clear for the show to develop its own identity. My Sunday evening plans were chucked, and I resolved to set aside 90 minutes to judge the show using its own criteria: no comparisons, no prerequisites and no Cowell.

The so-called “battle-round” aimed to whittle the remaining contestants down by each coach pitching their own ten contestants against one another before picking a victor. For me, this concept openly undermines the show’s fundamental originality. The audition stages were built upon a lack of visual dramatics and such an artificial set-up compromises this principle (the contestants were to go head to head on a boxing-ring inspired stage), especially when it was such a principle that first warranted the show's huge following. Not being one to judge a show by its format, though, I told myself if it’s good enough for 12 million viewers in the U.S., it’s good enough for me.

Jessie J’s David and Cassius were the first to take to the ring, and those niggling fears I had about this round’s format taking the emphasis away from the raw talent of the show’s contestants grew exponentially. In the VT, Jessie was shown not so much doing it like a dude as doing it like a thug. Like some frustrated cockfight referee Jessie bemoaned David’s reluctance, particularly, to show ferocity towards Cassius during their duet. As the pair took to the ring I felt almost guilty for enjoying the spectacle of it all, after the voice and the voice alone being so cherished during the blind auditions. Talent-wise Cassius was superb, but it was tricky to shift attention back to vocals alone following such a disturbing introduction. Cassius, thankfully, eventually prevailed (despite Jessie J telling David “you’re the reason I’m on this show” just a few weeks back…), though I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was less because of that raw vocal skill and more to do with his embracing of Jessie’s bating. The other nonplussing part of this battle was the muteness of Sir Tom Jones when it came to giving feedback; of all the judges, he is surely best placed to give advice to two young, male sopranos, yet his experience was wasted here.

Barbara and Leanne, under Sir Tom’s guidance, were next up. The former quickly shed the “glamorous granny” label host Holly Willoughby awarded her during her introduction, explaining during her pre-performance interview that it was “time to take Leanne out”. Fighting talk. Leanne, however, who resembles a Kelly Clarkson/Adele lovechild both vocally and visually, remained poised and let her lungs sing for themselves. During a rendition of Lady GaGa’s “The Edge of Glory”, whereas Barbara’s subscription to the battle element of the round saw her become aggressive and tuneless, Leanne’s vocal control shone. When Sir Tom was asked who had won the battle he once again offered a remarkable lack of feedback, giving Leanne’s name and precious little justification. Frankly, for all the expertise he had displayed thus far it might as well have been Sir Tom, Dick or Harry on the panel.

Unique or Generic? Francis and Katy do their best to win over will.i.am

Francis and Kate, and by extension their coach will.i.am, were the next to step into the spotlight. During the blind auditions I remember being decidedly unimpressed with the vocal prowess of both of these girls and so prepared for a bit of a lull in show quality. Enter Will. During the pre-performance VT, he was shown taking the under-confident Katie to a studio for her to appreciate how “unique” her talent is. Though I would disagree with his point (Katie IS a brunette Diana Vickers and Francis herself is only marginally distinct from Cher Lloyd), Will’s display of guidance and warmth saw him rocket past both Jessie and Sir Tom in the coaching stakes.  The duet was mediocre and Will chose Francis as his victor, but his comment to Katie that they would “hang out” in future came across as genuine, believable and a refreshing change to the standard post-rejection comments used by talent show judges (“you’re an inspirational artist with a bright future” doesn’t cut it when the performer has just been unceremoniously and brutally ousted).

Danny’s turn at playing coach came around in the form of Alex and Emmy’s “Broken Strings” battle. Much was made of Alex being a comparatively weak performer with minimal resultant confidence or chance of winning, and Danny released his inner will.i.am by taking him to one side and providing reassurance. During the battle, Danny sang along, shouted encouraging advice and looked proud as punch of both his contestants. So should will.i.am step aside as The Voice UK’s king judge? Perhaps not. Danny opted to send the experienced and confident songstress Emmy home because he felt he had more to show Alex. Either Danny fancies himself more as a counselor than a vocal coach or he doesn’t feel accomplished enough himself to coach a talented artist such as Emmy. Either way, Will’s crown was safe.

I’ve always been a massive proponent of Jessie, but she did herself no favours when her next two contestants went up against one another. Ruth-Ann was the blind auditions’ underdog; when Jessie praised her ability Will seemed bewildered and criticized her pitching. In this round, Jessie paired her up with the cocksure and much-praised Ben (who memorably rejected Will for a spot on Team JJ). Following a discernibly brief performance of the Whitney hit “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”, Jessie proudly, yet unexpectedly, saw Ruth-Ann through to the live shows. With Beyonce’s “Girls” blaring in the background and Jessie storming the stage, it was clear the show’s most contemporary and sought-after coach has a bit of a penchant for shock value. Either that or she’s tone deaf.

Sir Tom’s only duo, the slightly eccentric Matt & Sueleen, was the next into the ring with the mumsy and likeable Lindsey. The greater part of the VT unnecessarily dwelt on this being a “two against one” battle; the distinctive vocal and aesthetic styles of the competitors meant Lindsey could easily stake out her own place. For me, this performance was too friendly. I half expected Matt and Sueleen to surrender their eventual victory because they felt bad for new BFF Linds. Despite this being Sir Tom’s realm, Jessie managed to shoot herself in the foot when she remarked, “I would’ve gone with Lindsey, but they’re more interesting to watch.” Jessie sweetheart, this is “The Voice UK”, not “Britain’s Next Top Model”.

Danny next chose to pit student Hannah against the more mature Murray for a rendition of Robbie and Kylie’s “Kids”, in what could have seemed like some awkward, Freud-tinged and downright mismatched debacle. Avoiding this trap, both contestants were pretty equally matched in a style removed from either of their comfort zones. For me it was too close to call, but when Danny went with Hannah I found myself trusting his expertise. Credit where it’s due: during the blind auditions Danny seemed way out of his depth, but tonight he showed an ability to advise, make interesting pairings and promote original performances. He only needs, now, to shake that Valium excitability.

Circling her prey: Becky clashed with Indie and Pixy

My highlight of Sunday’s episode has got to be the battle fought between Indie & Pixy, Jessie’s duo, and Becky, the teenager with attitude to make Kevin and Perry quake. In their audition I felt that Indie and Pixy were amongst the weakest singers and entertainers but had refreshingly normal and likeable personalities. Turns out they were actually THE weakest singers and entertainers, and had weaker personalities than cactus plants. After complaining that they weren’t given enough of the big lines in Beyonce anthem “Irreplaceable” and then failing to hold the ones they were trusted with, the fearless Becky sang Indie and Pixie off the stage. Lucky, really, as if Jessie had taken the alternative decision I would have switched to ITV in fury and this review would have died in infancy…

Adam and Denise’s rendition of “Use Somebody” was the episode’s gaping low point. Sir Tom gave will.i.am style coaching a bash but ended up merely talking to Adam about stage fright like it was the weather and telling Denise to sing on behalf of her newborn baby (I forget the specifics, but it was toe-curling stuff). The performance itself fell down the pit-fall Danny had so skillfully swerved with Hannah and Murray, and it viewed like a perverse mother-son karaoke contest. Adam went through, though it was difficult to muster any interest in either contestants or coach on this one.

Up until this point, will.i.am had mostly acted the consummate coach: expert, honest and passionate. When his contestants Sophie and J Marie belted out Katy Perry’s “Firework”, this impeccable reputation slid faster than you could rap "boom boom pow". Firstly, Will made the mistake of making his performance more memorable than his acts’; he wound up dropping in the ages he was when he started the Black Eyed Peas and when he met Fergie (other people have been 17 too, Will). Secondly, he put through blatant underdog Sophie and attempted to justify it with something along the lines of “she’s 17. I remember being 17.” Okay…Thirdly, he cried. Not that a touch of Cheryl Cole style sensitivity isn’t welcome every now and again, but Will was being a touch to liberal with the crocodile tears, here.

With Danny’s two male contestants David and John James rounding off the show with a cover of Stereophonics’ “Dakota”, Sir Tom’s moment to prove himself was ripe for the picking. So how would he claim back his renown as the musical genius of the panel: a host of technical music terms that Will would understand and Danny would think were types of pasta, perhaps? A personal demonstration of how to hold those famously smooth notes? Alas, no. Sir Tom felt it more prudent to remark, “David with the curly hair reminds me of the first time I came to London.” I just despair. Danny held his own by taking a timid David aside to tackle any inhibiting nerves but, eventually, refused to vouch for the underdog for the sake of good telly. John James was far and away a more comfortable and talented performer, and it was satisfying for the show to live up to its initial vocal focus in time for the curtain call. Indeed, another final word needs to be said in praise of Danny here; up until this stage I had seen him unequivocally as the weakest link on the panel and wondered whether he realized the applicability of “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved” to his own annoying presence on the show. On Sunday, however, only will.i.am rivaled Danny's expressiveness and natural approach to coaching and his category especially looks choc-full of dark horses.

Here's hoping silence is golden: Sir Tom seemed to have misplaced his own voice

This Sunday, there was a smidge too much aggression from Jessie J, far too little of Sir Tom and a severe deficit in the coaches explaining the rationale behind their choices, but the show had its definite peaks, too. So will I be watching the live shows? Absolutely, although maybe for my own piece of mind I’ll start referring to it as “The Voice ETC UK”.

One Line Wonder

Katie (whilst singing to Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”, hours after being coached by will.i.am and just prior to being sent packing by him): It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take.

The Fortune Telly-er

One to watch: Leanne saw off stiff competition from Barbara with ease

Contestant-wise, Leanne is the clear one to watch from Sunday’s episode. It’ll be interesting to see whether Sir Tom can help her retain her huge voice yet still earn those all-important votes from pop-fanatic viewers.

Coach-wise, I think Jessie will reign it in for next week’s shows, especially when she has a chance to reflect on the silence of Sir Tom and the softly-softly styles of Will and Danny. I’d like to see Danny continue to hone his coaching skills, if nothing else then because it makes the show’s panel a more credible unit.